The Oscillating God?

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Philippines is the hottest most humid place I have ever been in my life.

New Orleans in July doesn’t hold a candle to its suffocating heat…

I lay in my homemade sleeping bag, a queen size sheet that Karen had halved and sewn shut at the bottom before the trip. My head was on a rolled t-shirt; one of my last clean ones. The mosquito netting hung from an exposed beam above my head, cocooning me. It kinda worked; at least, it kept more mosquitoes from getting in. And the ones that slept with me were well gorged.

I doubted the net would stop the rats that ran across the beams over our heads but they seemed to have some place to go and were thankfully uninterested in the sweaty sleeping men beneath them. Strike that, the sweaty horizontal men. No one was sleeping. And our minds weren’t on the disagreeable plywood floor, the hungry mosquitoes, or the busy indisposed rats. The only thing that existed in our universe at that moment was the oscillating fan.

I wanted to find the fella that had invented the damned beautiful thing and hug and then strangle him. My emotions were as fickle as the wind. The fan was my delight and my torture. There were five of us attempting to sleep on the second floor of the two-story tin shack located on the side of a Filipino volcano. For the brief seconds, the moving airbrushed my clammy skin I knew to the core of my being that God was good and he loved me. “Oh, God.” I sighed. And then the stupid fan moved on and I would begin to doubt, “Oh God!” I cried out again, this time in desperation.

Much of my life I have served an oscillating God. You know, the fella with the fickle nature. The guy that has sunshine and ponies in one hand and the pain and disappointment in the other. I have determined His nature through the lens of my needs. When life was sweet, with demands met, health great, and friendships deep and true, I’d sigh blissfully “Oh God.”

But life isn’t always sweet. Pain happens. And when the valley of the shadow of death is upon us, that’s when we must know to our core that our Fathers nature doesn’t change. He isn’t fickle. He hasn’t gotten tired of us, or changed His mind about us. He hasn’t turned His heart from us; He’s not judging us, or condemning us. He is still the same always-good Love He has always been.

I am growing in my revelation regarding my Fathers heart toward me, “Only goodness and love all the days of my life,” that’s what I say. I say it when life is a “mountaintop” and I am learning to say it when life is a “valley.”

My Father doesn’t Oscillate! His love is steadfast and relentless. His love is pure and beautiful. His love pursues me, enraptures me, consumes me. His love is the beginning, the end, the before, the after, and everything in between. His love is good – always!


Jason Clark
is a writer, speaker and lead communicator at A Family Story ministries. His mission is to encourage sons and daughters to grow sure in the love of an always-good heavenly Father. He and his wife, Karen, live in North Carolina with their three children.

4 Comments

  1. Bill (cycleguy)

    Good to hear from you Jason. I look at the cover of your Surrendered & Untamed and wonder how far away that is from where you write about right now. 🙂 I am glad that though I oscillate, God does not. He is faithful. Thanks for posting.

    Reply
  2. Jason Clark

    Hey Bill,Yeah, I'm preaching to the choir! Grace and more grace. Its good to write about His goodness in these seasons. There's something in there about strengthening yourself in the Lord. Thanks for the encouragement bro! Blessings!

    Reply
  3. ninaruth

    The fan had moved away from me after difficult news in a phone call I received 2 days ago & I had cried out in the car on the way to work today, "Father, are You mad at me? What's going on?!" His only reply (I'm NOT kidding!) was, "I think you need to check out Jason's blog when you get to work…"Now I know why.Thank you!Nina Ruth 🙂

    Reply
  4. Jason Clark

    So cool Nina, may you see Him smiling over you today! May you be filled with grace today! Me too Lord!Bless ya- Jason

    Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

YOU ALSO MIGHT LIKE…

How to Be Transformed

I interrupted again, “I’m not looking for what you know, here,” I said, pointing to my head. “When is the last time you experienced to the core of your being His unquestionable pleasure, His joy, His overwhelming love for you, here?” I pointed to my heart.

MAKO NAGASAWA / A RESTORATIVE GOD

Early Church Fathers, the formation of the New Testament, how to approach scripture, Starwars, Puff Daddy, The Police, and the vast difference between retributive justice and restorative justice. Mako Nagasawa’s insights and generous communication were insightful, hopeful and transformative.

KATIE SKURJA / Discovering Our Humanity

In this podcast, Katie Skurga talks about discovering our humanity in the image of God, shame and behavior, grace and identity, paradox and spiritual and emotional maturity, freedom, and intrinsic authority.

DAVID TENSEN / YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Trauma, pain, empathy like Jesus, and healing for the oppressed, misunderstood, lost, or broken; in this podcast David Tensen shares how we are loved and not alone. Addressing how shame and condemnation are compounded by religion, the guys talked specifically about abortion and the LGBTQ community with an invitation to love like Jesus, through our union with God and reconciliation.

Perspective for the Sake of Relationship: Authors Note

In this book, I have not written about Gods sovereignty through a rigid systematic lens. I have written through the lens of relationship. I don’t approach God through disciplines, ethics and the dogma of religious thought; I approach God as an adored son of my Father, a beloved brother of Jesus, an intimate friend of Holy Spirit.

And it’s all about family.

Mom

My heel struck the garage door and with one last hysterical push, I willed the car to stop… and it did. The front bumper came to rest against my chest, my back against the garage door. I had done it!! The euphoria, the victory, I had saved the day! I would be touted as a hero, thanked by my Dad and praised by my Mom… Mom was screaming… mom is screaming. Mom is mad… at me?

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This

Share This

Share this post with your friends!