I’m not a great list maker, that’s Karen’s gift, but over the last few years I’ve been asked on occasion about my “rules of engagement” on social media; particularly regarding how to navigate disagreement, or how to interact with those who are unkind, angry, afraid or accusatory.

Sacrificial love is my guide. I know this love to be like Jesus on a cross, unoffended, forgiving, and reconciling all to Love. There is no “us and them” in this good news, we all belong to each other. With that in mind, here are some thoughts I have had through the years.

1. If I am not willing to lay my life down for the person I am disagreeing with, I shouldn’t comment.

2. We are after understanding, not agreement. And honor is the road traveled to get there.

3. It’s not about being right, it’s about being love. I’m here to REVEAL love, not DEFEND my ideology.

4. Love keeps no record of wrong. I don’t have a right to hold onto offense.

5. Reaction creates an equal and opposite reaction. Love is responsive, fear is reactive and doesn’t lead to life. Don’t react, respond.

6. Empathy and compassion are expressions of kindness and it’s kindness that transforms the way one thinks. Be kind. Always.

7. Apologize when I’m wrong and especially if I am unkind; publicly and privately.

8. If I love exposing hypocrisy more than I love the hypocrite, then I have no part in what Jesus is doing and nothing of value to add to the conversation.

9. Everyone is doing the best they can.

10. We belong to each other.

“If love is the answer, community is the context, but tenderness is the methodology.” Father Greg Boyle

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