Intimacy within marriage, the connection between intimacy and mutuality, the nature of trust, the definition of sex, addressing transactional vs relational thinking, dismantling obligation, addressing objectification and broken ideologies developed from Eph 5:22, “Wives submit to your husbands…” Sheila Gregoire practically rethinks sex so husbands and wives can experience intimacy, joy, and deeper connection.


“The conversation around intimacy in marriage has largely ignored mutuality.”

“In order to have intimacy you have to have two people who both matter.”

“What, too often, the evangelical church has done is elevated one person’s needs, specifically the husbands over the wife, and that has really wrecked sex for everybody.”

“A lot of the reason that women have trouble reaching orgasm, that women have bad views of sex, that women just have trouble with sex in general, is not necessarily because of their husbands, but because of what they have been taught in church and in Christian circles and in Christian resources.”

“A lot of women feel very objectified, especially in the church….If you talk to evangelical women, almost all of them have stories of what they were told when they were hitting puberty about how they were now a stumbling block to men. Even elders and pastors…commenting on what they were wearing. And it’s really traumatizing.”

“We’re basically telling boys that sexual attraction and lust are the same thing…we’re raising a whole generation of boys to feel guilty for normal biological reactions…Jesus did not say, “whoever sees a beautiful woman has committed lust He said, ‘whoever looks with lust has committed adultery. So, it’s a deliberate action, it’s a deliberate mindset…”

“The church has made marriage into an idol, and our whole approach to marriage has been wrong because our approach is, ‘let’s keep marriages together.’ And, ‘it’s a success if people don’t get divorced.’ No, it’s a success when people look like Jesus. It’s a success when we walk in His steps…when we achieve healing and wholeness.”

“God loves you more than He loves the institution of marriage.”

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Podcast intro and outro music by Wilde Assembly

Brent Lokker
Derek Turner Follower of Jesus, in love with @sarahjturner, father to @caro.turn & @kaaatters, owner of Milo, pastor @rivercharlotte. Amazed by Grace

Jason Clark is a writer, speaker, and lead communicator at A Family Story ministries. His mission is to encourage sons and daughters to grow sure in the love of an always-good heavenly Father. He and his wife, Karen, live in North Carolina with their three children.


  1. Tineke Ziemer

    Thanks for addressing these very important topics!!! Would love to hear more about the specific teachings of purity culture and how to grow into a healthy view of sex.

    • Jason Clark

      Thanks, Tineke. Her book is a great place to start. I’ve read most of it and it’s really good. Hope you are having a good week.


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