A Memoir of Faith, Family & the Relentless Love of a Father
“I spent almost sixty years on the ‘try harder’ treadmill of religion—only to discover the gospel was never a reward; it was a gift.”
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From the wheat fields of Canada to Guatemala’s highlands, from Vancouver Island to the depth of financial ruin—a raw, unflinching memoir that moves between laughter and tears.
Order Your Copy“From behind me, as clear as a whisper in my ear, I heard a voice say, softly: ‘I love you, Lloyd.’”
Chapter 9
“We will always be five years old in Abba’s eyes—safe, secure, limitless, curious, and loved.”
The Story
Lloyd Clark’s story begins in the wheat fields of Canada’s Peace River country, on the edge of the Northwest Territories. From there it winds through Vancouver Island, to the deep South, and into the depths of financial ruin. This is in no way a self-help book. Lloyd pastored churches and watched them close—he always believed he was called to pastor, but the pulpit had other plans. He started a dozen businesses; six of them are still running today. He has been betrayed by mentors, robbed by employees, and brought to his knees by a God who loved him enough to destroy every false version of himself.
Along the way, he and Mary raised three biological children, adopted a son from Guatemala, and another from Panama City. They moved across a continent—always searching, always building, always learning that love is the long game.
“Some days I don’t know how to say it any better than this: I am loved. Not as a theory. As a presence. And it changes me from the inside out.”
On Presence
The Clark Family
Five children, seven grandchildren, and a love story still being written.
Lloyd’s daughter and the artist behind the cover painting “Old Men Dreaming.” Her work breathes the same teal-and-gold atmosphere that runs through this book.
Visit her art →“You have never been alone.”
“Back then, I needed a God with skin on. I didn’t know I was God’s skin.”
The Journey
“In that instant, a distant Monarch became Papa, and I became a child again—held, seen, and loved.”
Chapter 20 — When Abba Found Me in the Dark
“There is nothing more powerful than Truth wrapped in Love.”
“Lloyd, I know. I felt it too. I was there, and I know exactly what you’re feeling. But I’ve got you—and I’ve got this.”
From the Pages
The journey from believing the big lie to resting in the bigger truth: I am, and always have been, His.
Grace doesn’t wait for us to catch up. It simply keeps revealing what was true the whole time.
Transformation happens in the embrace.
I’d spent fifty-eight years on a religious treadmill, trying to become what I already was—trying to earn a gift that had been mine all along.
Right there—in the darkest night of our soul—in the exposed, vulnerable, festering mess of fear and distrust… that’s where He comes.
Love is the long game. Love never gives up.
There’s no place I’d rather be than right here: a child in His arms, in the present, with His full attention. Imagination running wild.
Some days I don’t know how to say it any better than this: I am loved. Not as a theory. As a presence. And it changes me from the inside out.
Our God is, and always will be, a relentless Redeemer.
Lloyd’s Corner
For years Lloyd has been writing short reflections on grace, identity, and the relentless love of the Father. Pull up a chair and read a few.
July 2023
Having discovered this place of bliss, I want to take everyone I know with me...
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December 2022
You’re comfortable in my skin, and I am comfortable being Your skin…Christ in me! You are here, in me and around me, filling every…
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June 2022
Every life on this planet is in part a revelation of the creativity, diversity, and symmetry in the heart of God and an ever-expanding…
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January 2022
“Christianity is not a religion: it is the proclamation of the end of religion. Religion is a human activity dedicated to the job of…
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October 2021
The romance is in the truth that God always loved me, before my co-operation or obedience. Long before I put my trust in Him,…
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May 2021
Love sets us free to be everything God created us to be. Religion and shame have no power to accomplish that! So, speaking the…
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March 2021
So how am I to deal with the good versus evil paradigm of the world that I still live in? Do I call it…
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January 2021
“This is my body, broken for you! Boys and girls, you are not abandoned, I will not leave you orphaned...”
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November 2020
The incarnation is the basis for healthy thinking. Therefore, the idea that I am not the expression of His image and likeness can no…
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September 2020
Your completeness in Christ is not a remote goal but our immediate reference!
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August 2020
Your completeness in Christ is not a remote goal but our immediate reference!
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July 2020
This is the gospel and we get to live it. This will change your world today! In fact this is the only way the…
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June 2020
Heavenly Father, you have been revamping and rebooting my systems for years, bringing me into greater awareness of this wonder-filled life you have offered…
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May 2020
Wth love, everyone is in! There are no outsiders! Everyone is included in this family...
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May 2020
Religion taught me about love, but religion seemed to get it wrong as much as it got it right. And at the end of…
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April 2020
Religion is an evil task master! A distortion of truth! A lie! But His love is truly joy unspeakable and full of glory, full…
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April 2020
As my friend, Dan Mohler says, “I am so worthy of the blood of Jesus.” He loves me! And it’s never ever had anything…
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January 2020
No one can fully engage in heavens perspective unless one’s heavenly origin is realized! The Son of Man declares mankind’s Genesis is from above!
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December 2019
Two thousand years ago, God clothed Himself in my separation—my lost identity. He became my sin, the distortion that so easily besets me. And…
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October 2019
You are the fruit of His suffering; you are the glorious resurrection generation. You are His will done on earth as it is in…
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October 2019
Oh so grateful to be free from the self-inflicting, self condemning, judgmental and pompous BS...
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September 2019
God doesn’t live in a box! No religious limits! He’s not a tightrope walker, no narrow road into His love, what a ridiculous idea!
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September 2019
I bought into a lie there that is still being populated by that institution and by most religious institutions across America. The lie? Sin…
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August 2019
Religion makes you schizophrenic, self-aggrandizing and judgmental on your good days and then introspective and self-loathing on your screw-up days.
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August 2019
Repentance: is not about religious penance. In the Greek it suggests a radical mind shift; it is to realize God’s amazing thoughts towards us!
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August 2019
We are free to reject Him all we want but we can’t stop Him from loving and pursuing us.
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July 2019
Suddenly, it was all I could do to wait for the first opportunity to make a beeline for the fella to share the great…
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July 2019
We are free to reject Him all we want but we can’t stop Him from loving and pursuing us.
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July 2019
When I go to sleep I’m His favorite! When I wake up I’m still His favorite! Whether I behave well or fail miserably I’m…
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October 2013
Jason has been living with a reckless abandon and discovering our truly good Father along the way. In this book, Jason is bringing hidden…
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June 2012
I am looking back now on these past years and am amazed by His love for me. He likes me and wants nothing from…
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Available Now
Seventy-five years in the making. A lifetime of wrestling, wandering, and being found.
Written so you could hear the whisper too.
Published by TWS Publishing • ISBN: 978-1-966818-68-7 • © 2026
