How Not to Fall Out of Love
I leaned in close to my beautiful Karen.
Her back was resting against the railing that separated us from the waterfall. This was the girl I would spend the rest of my life with, and I knew it. Earlier, we had walked through the small New York town of Rush. We held hands and laughed. We dreamed and ate chocolate. Now we were hidden from the whole world beneath the fir trees, our very own hideaway. We kissed. It was sweet, magical, beautiful, tender, affectionate—all the things a good kiss should be.
I knew I needed this girl in my life and I wanted to be a part of her life—till death do us part. A year later we got hitched. Two became one.
I married Karen because I needed her, every part of her. As Jerry McGuire
“If a relationship is built solely on needs being met it will eventually collapse into a legal partnership.”
And it isn’t wrong to need her, but I have discovered over the last twenty-something years that while “needs met” is a beautiful part of love, it can’t be the foundation.
If a relationship is built solely on needs being met it will eventually collapse into a legal partnership, a business relationship, a sterile agreement to cohabitation. If each person in a relationship is primarily focussed on their needs being met, at some point their love will grow apathetic and cold, at some point the lovers will “fall out of love.”
True love is measureless, it grows exponentially, it defines and makes sure, it empowers and encourages, it has an answer and redeems every issue, heartache, and disappointment. Marriage is meant to be an intimate covenant of this love, a beautiful expression of the measureless power of love.
When love is at the center of a
“Falling out of love is not possible if you are becoming love.”
Falling out of love is not possible if you are becoming love.
If Karen and I only loved each other for needs met, we would miss out on intimacy. Intimacy is the greatest expression of love and trust. I am not just writing about the physical. Intimacy is available in every aspect of a relationship where giving is the foundation. Intimacy is way bigger than needs met. Intimacy is about revelation, about knowing and being known. Karen and I have been married nearly a quarter century and she is more fascinating to me today than yesterday. The more I give myself to her, the more I want to know her. The more I know her the more I have to give.
It’s the same in our relationship with God. If we only love Him for what He can do for
“If we only love God for what He can do for us, if our love revolves around needs met, our love will grow stale, lukewarm.”
We love because He first loved (1st John 4:19). He already gave, everything. Every aspect of our Father’s nature is available to us and is discovered in giving ourselves to Him.
Through a revelation of His perfect love is an invitation to knowing, to giving, to growing sure, to trust and intimacy. To grow in love is to give love as God gives. May we all grow in love.
Revelation: It’s Always An Encounter
When we encounter Gods love, it is impossible not to be changed.
These encounters are where revelation begins. Revelation is Gods disclosure of Himself. Revelation is a truth about the nature of God revealed, where once it had been hidden. It means, “to remove the veil,”
The truth has been there all along but now we can see it in greater measure…
Karen and I have pet names for each other. You know, terms of endearment we would only use when speaking with each other while washing the dishes, or eating popcorn… “hey baby,” “hey beautiful,” “hey gorgeous,” that
But sometimes I’ll say “No, what I’m trying to say is that at this exact moment, I am feeling love for you! I’m feeling it right now!”
“Right this instant she asks?” with a smile. Yes, this exact moment. “Wow,” She says, “now I’m feeling it too!”
And that’s the best way I can describe revelation.
We have been married thirteen years, we know that we love each other, we say it all the time; we decide to all the time but these moments of revelation are priceless. These moments are birthed of a pure surrender, where everything in the universe aligns and our hearts, minds, and souls experience the encounter. In these moments, nothing else matters! In these moments, the truth of our love is purely revealed.
I think that’s what revelation is, in fact, I would go so far as to say I don’t think revelation can be experienced outside of
Truth can be read about and discussed, but to own revelation requires some form of experience. “God loves you,” is simply a statement of fact. But the statement doesn’t hold any power until His love is engaged.
You can tell someone everything you know about driving a car but until they actually get behind the wheel, its just theory and they don’t truly know how to drive.
To own Gods love in its depths we must have shared experience. It’s through this relationship that we get to own revelation. And it is those encounters that change us, aligning our heart with His and changing our perspective until we begin to see from His.
This article is taken from Jason’s book, Untamed.